Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Meditate on this

Don't freak. But Jennifer Aniston is looking at me. Right at me. And she’s smiling. And possibly naked. This might get good. 

Then I realize I’m standing at a bus stop in the land that summer forgot, and Jennifer Aniston just wants me to buy some smartwater, whatever the hell that is.

I’m no Buddhist, but here’s a koan for you: If there is no peace in purity, but there is such a thing as pure Zen, which apparently comes in the form of a bottle of overpriced tap water hawked by a doe-eyed tabloid luminary, then what is the sound of one hand flipping this ad the bird?

Also, does anyone else get thrown by “Yeah every bottle comes with that” as a close? Such an oddly colloquial wisecrack for a product that proposes to be as pure as Jennifer Aniston’s pallid soul.

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2 comments:

  1. Jonathan KelleyJuly 8, 2009 at 1:28 PM

    Wow, way to commercialize an entire religion! Maybe they customize it for various locales? "Pure Shi'a..." "Pure Jehovah" "Pure Branch Davidian"

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  2. symptomaticJuly 13, 2009 at 1:09 PM

    Now Smart Water seems more "on the way to Old Maid-hood." J.A. brings to mind desperation, and beauty on the verge of being lost to age, and the absence of babies and not being hot enough to keep a man. Inner beauty not working out. Tabloids have set these associations in place for me.

    For me, Smart Water is special because of the electrolytes. Zen and Jennifer Aniston do not equal electrolyte replacement, not for me.

    This is an upsetting ad.

    Sorry I am typing so much. I just took my Provigil. Do you have any ads for that?

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