Orange fingers flash the devil's horns

Thanks to my friend Drew, who, um, “drew” my attention to this. It’s a homonym. Neat, huh?

Kids these days. They just have to have their snacks. And they want their snacks to be compartmentalized temporally, okay? Like, nacho cheese is so noon, you know? So what does Doritos do? They give the kids what they want, man, with Doritos Late Night, available in rule-breaking flavors like Tacos at Midnight and Last Call Jalapeno Popper.

But they didn’t stop there. Because kids these days are too cool to go see a real live concert, Doritos found a way to bring the concert to the kids. See, select Doritos Late Night bags serve as tickets to a 3d virtual concert by Blink 182. You go to a special Web site, aim the bag at a web cam on your computer, and then the concert starts. By popping out of your bag. It’s a 3d bag-concert. Kind of like Princess Leia popping out of R2D2, only it’s some guys wearing eyeliner. Yep. Oh, also, if you don’t like the performance you can change it by shaking or crinkling the bag. Oh, also, I want to kill myself.

It dawns on me now that they missed an opportunity by not hosting a bag-concert by Shakira. She could sing “Chips don’t lie.” Jesus, am I on fire.

So next time you’re sequestered in a room with nothing but a webcam and a bag of Passed Out In My Own Vomit Quesadilla, you know what to do. Smear some pasty, spitty orange residue all over your keyboard, log on, aim the fucking bag of chips at your web cam, and get ready to rock. Just like the old days, man!